(currently listening to - Five Score and Seven Years Ago, Relient K)
i think my therapist might’ve told me to set goals for myself or …not. either way i am!
i’m going to be constantly adding/editing this.
or i might write it in a notebook and forget about this. i’m sure my thousands of loyal tumblr readers will cry their eyes out.
short term (relatively)
learn to play ‘deathbead’ on piano by….. march. (i don’t play piano so maybe march is kind of early? i have the music and i have no problem with the melody but i can’t harmonize very well at all. also not the whole song, at least 80 measures)
make principal’s list 2nd quarter
get at least a 90 on my AP Chem midtern (okay more realistically 85)
triple jump: 28’6”
high jump: 4’6”
cut down on shows. people are all “lol you can’t go to too much shows!” but i honestly do. i spend far too much money on them.
get a telephoto lens!! (this isn’t so much a goal…)
at least 700 in each section of the SAT. (750 in math)
long term
700+ on history and chem SAT II’s,
750+ on Math 2 SAT II
make principal’s list:
3rd quarter
4th quarter
all of senior year
overall gpa for junior year: 95 unweighted
triple jump 29’
high jump: 4’8”
200m: sub 33 seconds
cross country: sub 19:00
get a summer job.
take a summer photography class and/or web design class and/or college class (sciene probs)
write my college essays over the summer and start applications.
don’t waste my summer.
speak more deliberately
be more organized
limit procrastination
cut down online time (like right now….)
What doesn’t kill us makes us who we are.
— Motion City Soundtrack - “It Had To Be You”
including myself. i disappoint myself.
that isn’t really the title or subject of this blog, just stating a fact.
i don’t even know why i’m writing right now. my blogs are usually unorganized, vague and difficult to understand. oh well. i guess it’s because i have great difficulty saying what i mean to say, and putting my thoughts into words. i don’t think my writing reflects my intellect very well at all.
i need to start living my life. i haven’t been feeling any emotion, or passion. i’ve purposely done some things i normally wouldn’t, just to stir up some feeling within me. people are always saying that youth is wasted on the young. i feel i’m wasting my youth.
i feel old. i think that’s why i have difficulty connecting with people my age. i think too much about things that sixteen year olds shouldn’t be occupying themselves with.
it’s 2AM. i have no reason being up; i’d rather wake up befoer 11 tomorrow morning so i can actually get things done. i’m supposed to have been running and doing SAT prep. so much for that. i also have an AP chem assignment i haven’t even thought about. go me.
tomorrow i’m seeing my therapist. wednesday i’m working, thursday i’m going to a museum in the city. friday i’m getting my top retainer, saturday LAST DAY of work!, sunday hospital. monday school.
school.
i don’t have time for anything. plus, next month starts intense SAT prep! i’m not taking a class or anything, just prepping on my own.
yeah, so i figure i work during break, make enough $$ for bamboozle tickets and then adios bay cards and gifts. i could so use the money, but i really do not have time, especially considering i want to run indoor track.
i’m registering for the january 24th SAT as we speak! isn’t that a lovely birthday gift to myself? (i turn 17 the 25th.)
I think this is how it will go
jan 24th - SAT
march 14th - SAT
may 2nd - MAYBE the SAT II Math 2. (bamboozle haha)
june - chem and american history SAT II
october SAT depending on how i do in jan/march
i should update this thing more often.
MY SISTER BROKE MYSPACEBAR SO IT DOESN’TWORKPROPERLY asyou can probably tell
boo :(
i’mdoing health hw right now… tell me how i got better grades in all of my AP and honors courses than in healthclass? i can’tstand the class.my teacher is so stupid,honestly she’sso ignorant.the class is a good time to do math homeworkthough.
okay the purpose of this post is i’ve been thinkningabout college a lot lately so i want to startcomposing alistof schools i want to go/applyto formy own records(in no particular order)
vassar (ilove vassar but idk if i want to go to poughkeepsie!)
swarthmore
upenn (…likei’llget in)
boston college
the past few days i’vebeen going through course books and stuff. i. just. want.to.leave.
uh what the fucki’mprettysure my brother issmoking pot in his room right now.it’sstinking up the whole house.what the fuck. i can’tstand the smellof pot. i kind of want tomakealotof noise and wake up myparentsby accident and have themcomein here and bust his ass.
i haven’t been here in a while.
I feel as if i have nothing of substance to write about. Which is true but not realy. Sure, i haven’t been doing anything producive but i could still write things.
whatever
omg rn i’m typing on the family computer because my laptop likes to not connect to the internet and we have this rubber indestrucable hot pink keyboard it’s so hard to type on causee i have to really press down hard.
like this
since my life is boring i’ll post what i’m doing write now
eating this
wearing this
except i don’t look slutty. also i am wearing this
underneath
i have not put on real shoes yet so i have these but they are black and pink
also i am drinking water out of a sigg bottle
i have a family party today dnw.
This morning I got up and got ready to go running. 
except I put it off as long as possible of course so took some pictures of my room~
spanish guitar I should learn how to play
one of my walls
my laptop which refuses to connect to the internet. (still on desktop rn)
if i don’t get all varsity letters next year i will be mad at myself.
Eventually I did leave and went to the Flushing HS track. It’s not on the same campus as Flushing HS, like a 5 min. drive away. It’s a nice track for such a shitty school. (I don’t go there. It’s really bad. The graduation rate is like 40% or something ridic like that)
after a while i was all screw this and went to the swings at the P.S. 21 playground 
I went home, showered, and bummed around. I had some mango powdered drink I got for free when I went to the Kraft Plant. I do not like mango. 
I listened to Brighten. Internet still wouldn’t connect. 
Okay so I’m on the FTSK street team except now i don’t really care for them… but they sent me 200 fliers and 100 stickers. note the thickness of the pile of fliers. wtf am i going to do with this. 
my life.
